Don't You Wanna Try Some?

Hi!

It's been a few weeks since my last blog. I have had this on my heart for a while to put in writing but I just needed to put it into words. 

Won't you take a trip with me back to the 70's?

So how could it have been that I was only 14 years old when I experimented with Jack Daniels. No, I'm not talking about a boy named Jack. Lol! You guessed it, I'm talking about the whiskey that will grow hair on your chest. 

I can remember this day as clear as anything. I went to my friends right after school and a bunch of us had plans to go to a basketball game. But before we did that, we took a rather dreadful detour to raid one their parent's liquor cabinets.  

To our delight, we found a huge bottle of Jack Daniels and what else could we do but take turns swigging the bottle?!

By the time we got to the game which was walking distance, we all, pretty much couldn't see straight! I need to speak for myself anyway. I remember feeling so darn dizzy and everything was blurry as could be. 

I knew I had to get home so I said bye to my friends and started my trek home from Oaklyn to Collingswood.

I must have been crazy and could have killed myself that day as I was crossing intersections while walking on the side walk of the White Horse Pike. 

Can you picture me now swerving all over as I was trying to stay on both feet?

You may be thinking how could my friends let me out of their sight in that condition? Really, we were all just kids. 

At the time, it didn't even dawn on me how my friends could even let me take such a walk home. I think since the memory was so etched in my brain, I did think about it from time to time. But I also take into consideration that they were just as drunk as me, if not more. 

By the grace of GOD, I got home in one piece. 

When I walked in the door, I was so relieved my parents weren't home. I managed to get up the stairs to my room and crawl in bed. I remember my twin sisters, 3 years my junior, coming in to see if I was alright.

They said I smelled really bad and actually brought me the peanut butter jar and started feeding me gobs of it to mask the horrible alcohol stench almost knocking them over. After they left my room, I got so sick all over my floor.  Just thinking about it now, turns my stomach.

Can anyone relate to this? I'm talking about when you can't even make to the porcelain altar. Ugh!!

The worst part of all, was my mom who was younger than I am now, probably in her mid to late 30's, finding me in that condition. You can imagine that she freaked out! No doubt, she punished me for a month, which seemed like forever.  

I was forbidden to see my friends again. Would your parents order the same punishment?

I was so mad at my mom for forbidding me to see my friends. Dear GOD, I was only 14!  Who did I think I was? 

That moment of my life unfortunately led to much more drinking. 

Would I ever learn my lesson?  Do you think you would if you were in my position?

Though, I do not recall ever picking up another bottle of Jack Daniels, I did drink other hard liquors. I then developed a love of mixed drinks. I didn't know when to stop and would drink until I was sloshed! 

I can recall different events like concerts, weddings, picnics...you name it, where I couldn't even enjoy myself because I had drank wayyyyyy too much!

Why did I want to keep going back to the instant comfort from the bottle and the next day feel like a train wreck? I liked how it made me feel! I imagine that's why most people drink. 

I'm not saying one can't have one or two drinks to wind down if of age to drink and do it responsibly. However, when doing so, spirals us down into a pit that's impossible to pull ourselves out of, then we have abused it. 

Consequently, I also did not refuse drugs as my teens and young adulthood progressed. That's a whole different story. 

I share just this one glimpse into my life with you to admit I took the wrong path for many years and here's why...

Little did I know that I was wondering around in circles of complete deception of how I should been living which pushed me into a whirlwind of disillusionment, discontentment and disenchantment causing me to dishonor my parents, and loved ones around me and ultimately my Maker!!

What was I doing with my life all those years?

Escaping reality?

Loving rebellion?

Trying to fill an empty void?

Or just wanting to kill all the pain?

I thought these scriptures in the book of Mark were so profound as I was reading in my private time with The LORD. 

The soldiers brought Jesus to Golgotha, meaning “Skull Hill.” They offered him a mild painkiller (wine mixed with myrrh), but he wouldn’t take it. And they nailed him to the cross. They divided up his clothes and threw dice to see who would get them. (Mark 15:22-24 MSG)

Of course, he wouldn't take it, HE's GOD!!! HE doesn't need any of what they were offering. 

HE is the Offering!!!

Why couldn't I get it through my thick skull that I could have refused those substitutes?....for the Real Pain Killer, The Cure Giver, The Great Physician, The One who never leaves us nor forsakes us....JESUS!!!! 

The very reason HE died for the sins of the world was to free us from sin and death and clearly, our own self destruction. 

In the chorus of Plumb's song ...

"There's a God-shaped hole in all of us

And the restless soul is searching

There's a God-shaped hole in all of us

And it's a void only He can fill, only He can fill"

Won't you try HIM today and not something else?? HE is gonna win you over every time!! 

Hands down!!!

Nothing in life is a match for victory in Jesus!

I am living proof of this because I know at the rate I was going, I would be in a mental institution or dead...oh, but GOD!!! 

Am I saying it's going to be easy? No, but it's just that simple. 

HE does fill that empty void inside of us that NOTHING or NOBODY but HIM can fill!!! 

Nuff said...

Thanks for taking the time to read a small part of my story. 

In HIM,

Annamarie