Don't You Wanna Try Some?

Hi!

It's been a few weeks since my last blog. I have had this on my heart for a while to put in writing but I just needed to put it into words. 

Won't you take a trip with me back to the 70's?

So how could it have been that I was only 14 years old when I experimented with Jack Daniels. No, I'm not talking about a boy named Jack. Lol! You guessed it, I'm talking about the whiskey that will grow hair on your chest. 

I can remember this day as clear as anything. I went to my friends right after school and a bunch of us had plans to go to a basketball game. But before we did that, we took a rather dreadful detour to raid one their parent's liquor cabinets.  

To our delight, we found a huge bottle of Jack Daniels and what else could we do but take turns swigging the bottle?!

By the time we got to the game which was walking distance, we all, pretty much couldn't see straight! I need to speak for myself anyway. I remember feeling so darn dizzy and everything was blurry as could be. 

I knew I had to get home so I said bye to my friends and started my trek home from Oaklyn to Collingswood.

I must have been crazy and could have killed myself that day as I was crossing intersections while walking on the side walk of the White Horse Pike. 

Can you picture me now swerving all over as I was trying to stay on both feet?

You may be thinking how could my friends let me out of their sight in that condition? Really, we were all just kids. 

At the time, it didn't even dawn on me how my friends could even let me take such a walk home. I think since the memory was so etched in my brain, I did think about it from time to time. But I also take into consideration that they were just as drunk as me, if not more. 

By the grace of GOD, I got home in one piece. 

When I walked in the door, I was so relieved my parents weren't home. I managed to get up the stairs to my room and crawl in bed. I remember my twin sisters, 3 years my junior, coming in to see if I was alright.

They said I smelled really bad and actually brought me the peanut butter jar and started feeding me gobs of it to mask the horrible alcohol stench almost knocking them over. After they left my room, I got so sick all over my floor.  Just thinking about it now, turns my stomach.

Can anyone relate to this? I'm talking about when you can't even make to the porcelain altar. Ugh!!

The worst part of all, was my mom who was younger than I am now, probably in her mid to late 30's, finding me in that condition. You can imagine that she freaked out! No doubt, she punished me for a month, which seemed like forever.  

I was forbidden to see my friends again. Would your parents order the same punishment?

I was so mad at my mom for forbidding me to see my friends. Dear GOD, I was only 14!  Who did I think I was? 

That moment of my life unfortunately led to much more drinking. 

Would I ever learn my lesson?  Do you think you would if you were in my position?

Though, I do not recall ever picking up another bottle of Jack Daniels, I did drink other hard liquors. I then developed a love of mixed drinks. I didn't know when to stop and would drink until I was sloshed! 

I can recall different events like concerts, weddings, picnics...you name it, where I couldn't even enjoy myself because I had drank wayyyyyy too much!

Why did I want to keep going back to the instant comfort from the bottle and the next day feel like a train wreck? I liked how it made me feel! I imagine that's why most people drink. 

I'm not saying one can't have one or two drinks to wind down if of age to drink and do it responsibly. However, when doing so, spirals us down into a pit that's impossible to pull ourselves out of, then we have abused it. 

Consequently, I also did not refuse drugs as my teens and young adulthood progressed. That's a whole different story. 

I share just this one glimpse into my life with you to admit I took the wrong path for many years and here's why...

Little did I know that I was wondering around in circles of complete deception of how I should been living which pushed me into a whirlwind of disillusionment, discontentment and disenchantment causing me to dishonor my parents, and loved ones around me and ultimately my Maker!!

What was I doing with my life all those years?

Escaping reality?

Loving rebellion?

Trying to fill an empty void?

Or just wanting to kill all the pain?

I thought these scriptures in the book of Mark were so profound as I was reading in my private time with The LORD. 

The soldiers brought Jesus to Golgotha, meaning “Skull Hill.” They offered him a mild painkiller (wine mixed with myrrh), but he wouldn’t take it. And they nailed him to the cross. They divided up his clothes and threw dice to see who would get them. (Mark 15:22-24 MSG)

Of course, he wouldn't take it, HE's GOD!!! HE doesn't need any of what they were offering. 

HE is the Offering!!!

Why couldn't I get it through my thick skull that I could have refused those substitutes?....for the Real Pain Killer, The Cure Giver, The Great Physician, The One who never leaves us nor forsakes us....JESUS!!!! 

The very reason HE died for the sins of the world was to free us from sin and death and clearly, our own self destruction. 

In the chorus of Plumb's song ...

"There's a God-shaped hole in all of us

And the restless soul is searching

There's a God-shaped hole in all of us

And it's a void only He can fill, only He can fill"

Won't you try HIM today and not something else?? HE is gonna win you over every time!! 

Hands down!!!

Nothing in life is a match for victory in Jesus!

I am living proof of this because I know at the rate I was going, I would be in a mental institution or dead...oh, but GOD!!! 

Am I saying it's going to be easy? No, but it's just that simple. 

HE does fill that empty void inside of us that NOTHING or NOBODY but HIM can fill!!! 

Nuff said...

Thanks for taking the time to read a small part of my story. 

In HIM,

Annamarie 

Who's The Boss?

Hi! 

Okay.  So, right away I didn't think of the old sit com, Who's the Boss? with Tony Danza as the housekeeper of a single woman and her two young children. Not to mention, a fun loving crazy mother in the mix. 

But I couldn't help going on YouTube to take a stroll down memory lane. 

That was such a fun show to watch. I remember laughing at all the funny and crazy antics of the actors. They looked like they had a lot of fun on that show. 

I'm chuckling right now, thinking of some of the scenes. 

I know, I'm showing my age with how old this show is. It just struck me during my devotional time with The LORD.

Check out the lyrics to the show's theme song:

"There’s a time for love and a time for living. 

You take a chance and face the wind. 

An open road and a road that’s hidden 

A brand new life around the bend. 

There were times when I lost a dream or two. 

Found the trail, and at the end was you. 

There’s a path you take and a path untaken 

The choice is up to you my friend. 

Nights are long but you’re on your way 

To a brand new life, Brand new life, 

Brand new life around the bend."

Right away, I can't help but think of how Jesus is the Boss of my life, but HE's only been in that driver's seat for nearly ten years. 

There was a catch...I let had to allow HIM that place. 

What I'm saying is...HE wasn't driving me. 

Back when, when this show was on and very popular along with countless others, I didn't give Jesus or even these profound lyrics a second thought.

I was driving myself...and I don't mean crazy! Yet, I could have went crazy. 

No matter where you are on the path of life, you want to have positive experiences. 

Right? 

I thought for years and years of my life that I was experiencing the good things as the days, weeks, months and years went by. 

Is it me, or does time just fly right on by?

I was going along happily married to a husband who adores me with three beautiful children. Do I have to mention, from two different men in my life? I have parents that love me and did the best they knew how to raise me, being the oldest one of five children. 

The choice was up to me to continue on the path I was on, without even an inkling that I was spiraling downward.  On the other hand, I could take the fork in the road going UPWARD.

In other words, I could continue to think I was the boss of my life and it's all about me, me, me!! 

If I did that, I would have never known exactly just what the theme song says, or should I say what it means... "a brand new life around the bend." It was my path untaken. 

Look at what Jesus says here in the gospel of Mark:

Calling the crowd to join HIS disciples, HE said, “Anyone who intends to come with ME has to let ME lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat; I AM. Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow ME and I’LL show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, MY way, to saving yourself, your true self. What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you? What could you ever trade your soul for? “If any of you are embarrassed over ME and the way I’M leading you when you get around your fickle and unfocused friends, know that you’ll be an even greater embarrassment to the SON of Man when HE arrives in all the splendor of GOD, HIS Father, with an army of the holy angels.” (Mark 8:34-38 MSG)

All I know is, I could have never put my thoughts in writing like this before. 

If GOD's Word doesn't come alive off the pages of scripture AND completely transforms lives, there would have NEVER been any real change in the way I think, say and do things. 

So ask yourself, where am I in my life? 

Do I drive my life?

You may say, I can't possibly let an invisible force in the driver's seat. 

I'll crash! 

Quite the contrary, we will all crash if we don't let our Creator take that seat in life. 

Let's see who's gonna drive here! Lol!

This pic is from Spaceship Earth Future World in EPCOT. Through technology, we created our own world. 

Can we really create anything on our own or do we really need our Creator?

You choose, but won't you choose wisely?

Again, from the theme song..."the choice is up to you, my friend."

Let's try to wrap our minds around this... that The GOD of the Universe, whom we cannot see, loves each and everyone of us no matter what path we choose. 

What's even more hard to fathom is HE loves us way too much to keep us on the wrong path if that's where we are or where we're headed. 

To sum it all up... I "Found the trail, and at the end was YOU" JESUS!!

Thanks so much for tuning in today!

Have a fantastic day!

In HIM,

Annamarie 

Secrets - keep them or tell them?

Hi!

Thank you for taking the time out of your busy day or night to read what GOD has put on my heart. Comments are welcome. 

Happy (even before winter is officially here) SNOW DAY!!!! By the time I get this posted it will be snow night. Hahaha!

Anybody have any suggestions for songs about SECRETS?

About hiding something; secret hiding places, secret moments, secret passwords, secret missions, secret admirers, secret confessions...you name it!!

Right off the top of my head, I thought of... Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto - "Secret, secret. I've got a secret."  

Here are just some of the lyrics from the 80's song by the rock band, Styx.

I've got a secret I've been hiding under my skin

My heart is human, my blood is boiling, my brain I.B.M.

So if you see me acting strangely, don't be surprised

I'm just a man who needed someone, and somewhere to hide

To keep me alive-just keep me alive

Somewhere to hide to keep me alive

I'm not a robot without emotions-I'm not what you see

I've come to help you with your problems, so we can be free

I'm not a hero, I'm not a saviour, forget what you know

I'm just a man whose circumstances went beyond his control

Beyond my control-we all need control

I need control-we all need control

I am the modren man, who hides behind a mask

So no one else can see my true identity

Looking back at these lyrics, I know for sure when I used to sing to this song that I didn't really know all the words or understand them. I just loved mostly the beat to it!! It was just a fun song to sing. 

As I was in my private devotion time with GOD this morning, I was reading these verses in the Bible and HE hit me like a ton of bricks!

In Mark 4, Jesus was in the middle of telling many parables (stories) to the crowds that were gathered around the area. 

Jesus went on: “Does anyone bring a lamp home and put it under a washtub or beneath the bed? Don’t you put it up on a table or on the mantel? We’re not keeping secrets, we’re telling them; we’re not hiding things, we’re bringing them out into the open. “Are you listening to this? Really listening? (Mark 4:21-23 MSG)

So, for those of us who know Jesus as our LORD and Savior, should we be keeping secrets or telling them?? 

When we answer this question from a worldly perspective, we say... keep secrets. Why not? Nobody will know, anyway. I can think, say or do whatever I want. It's my life. No one can tell me differently. 

These comments are quite common if we live by the ways of world without knowing the LORD. 

We can be saved and have this type of mindset, but it's just like being in our own personal spiritual prison cell. 

I know for myself, when I stay in the word of GOD, I can then begin to see the simple principles of HIS word that literally enfold in my day to day life to help me overcome thoughts of self satisfaction. 

Instead of thinking in a way that only pleases myself, I can then choose to think, say, and do what is right and good for myself and others. 

One of the most powerful secrets revealed to me as a believer is complete and utter freedom in Christ!! 

Mostly everyone can memorize John 3:16, and do what it says, yet if only we would take that a step further and realize the freedom that goes way beyond salvation. 

Just think how carefree, light and airy we would be! Don't get me wrong, we will still have struggles, but we will look at them in a whole new light. 

Reminds me of a butterfly, and what that beautiful creature used to be. 

The secrets are revealed right in the pages of scripture. It's absolutely life changing but it's up to you to let that happen!  

Want freedom from keeping secrets, being unable to forgive someone, having uncontrollable anger, fear, anxiety?...just to name a few heavy weights we were never meant to carry.  

Simply, don't keep what GOD has done for you a secret! 

This good news is meant for us to tell every living and breathing person on the face of the planet!!

What are you waiting for? 

Go tell Satan's best kept secret there is to tell!! 

Because I can assure you of this, he wants everything to be kept a secret!! 

But GOD, and the Truth is out....

JESUS is FREEDOM!!! 

Until next time... 

Enjoy the rest of your week! 

In HIM,

Annamarie 

Who knew?

Hi there!

I sure hope you are keeping warm on this chilly fall day.  The trees are just about bare to their branches. Yay, leaves galore everywhere!! Not...they look so much prettier on the trees.

Well, thanks to my hubby who just recently started to blog, I have now been inspired to do the same. I was really in denial that I had "it" in me to do this.

What is "it" anyway??...come to find out, it's HIM, not it, who gives me the gumption to express myself. Who is this "HIM" you ask? ...none other than Jesus, The Christ.

You see, I was so painfully shy growing up and into my teen and young adult years. For those of you who know me; you may say, nah....not Annamarie.


So, while I was in the middle of my personal study time in the book of Matthew, I got hit right between the eyes with these verses of how GOD spoke to me.

When I look at Peter who was one of The LORD's great disciples, I thought how could he do what he did. I mean Peter was the one who got out of the boat and walked on water when Jesus held out HIS hand to him. Talk about unimaginable bravery and faith!

Depending on how much of the bible you have read or studied, you may or may not have heard of Peter denying Jesus three times before the rooster crowed while Jesus was being handed over to be crucified.

The Message version captures it so distinctly....

Matthew 26:69-74 MSG All this time, Peter was sitting out in the courtyard. One servant girl came up to him and said, “You were with Jesus the Galilean.” In front of everybody there, he denied it. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” As he moved over toward the gate, someone else said to the people there, “This man was with Jesus the Nazarene.” Again he denied it, salting his denial with an oath: “I swear, I never laid eyes on the man.” Shortly after that, some bystanders approached Peter. “You’ve got to be one of them. Your accent gives you away.” Then he got really nervous and swore. “I don’t know the man!”Just then a rooster crowed. Peter remembered what Jesus had said: “Before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times.” He went out and cried and cried and cried.

I mean, Peter had the honor and privilege of seeing Jesus in the flesh, and I...don't get to do that. Come to think of it...none of us do on this side of the world as mortal humanity.

Then I think about it, I was not much different than Peter, as I denied knowing Jesus as my LORD and Savior for 40 years of my life!

Okay, I get it, GOD! You have given me a very similar story as the Israelites. As it took them 40 years to make an 11 day journey across the wilderness, it me 40 years to circle round and round until I finally got it right! And, I could have never done it without Jesus!

As a little girl, I went to Sunday school and remember singing childlike songs rejoicing about Jesus. I also went to church on and off throughout my life. It never really sunk in how I was denying HIM.

I was using everything that I could think of to fill that GOD shaped hole inside my heart.
You know what I mean...things like drinking, drugging and carousing.

This is not easy to admit, but I have to be real, as it happened. I could deny I did these things and say they weren't a part of my life because they certainly were.

Did I see this as denial then? No, I was having too much fun, or so I thought.

Much like Peter, endlessly crying, after he denied Jesus three times just as Jesus said he would, I do recall crying rivers of tears through all the pain and anguish of my denial.

Then one bright day, I couldn't deny the fact any longer that I was created to worship and the ONE and ONLY Person who could fill that hole, void, utter emptiness; whatever you want to call it.... is Jesus Christ!! (Testimony will be explained at a later date).

Now there's no denying who Jesus is to me and what HE has done, what HE is still doing and what HE will continue to do until the day HE takes me Home.

Do you know HIM, because some day when you will undoubtedly, stand face to face in front of HIM; do you really want to say....who knew??!!!

Have you ever really thought about it...if you are denying who Jesus is, to this day??

With this in mind, I can undeniably say... how thankful I am for not being in denial any longer. Thanks for taking the time to read this.

What are you thankful for this day and as the Thanksgiving holiday approaches?

Have a wonderfully blessed Thanksgiving!!

In HIS Peace,

Annamarie